Dave Barry’s Wit and Wisdom

You’ll find a lot of stuff you really should know, served up by Dave Barry in his very funny 1999 book, Dave Barry Turns 50. Here are a couple of my favorites...Sorry there aren't more, but Barry's copyright attorneys demanded I remove all but a small sample.

• People who feel the need to tell you that they have an excellent sense of humor are telling you that they have no sense of humor.


• You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.


• There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 11.


• People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.


• You should not confuse your career with your life.


• A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.


• Your friends love you anyway.